Healing a negative mother wound inside of you is inter-related to the healing that our entire planet needs! Our earth is calling us now, to come back and listen to her needs; which is also all of our needs, collectively. Our survival is deeply inter-connected as a species to Her. She is out of balance and is shifting with enormous physical changes and more erratic weather patterns. She is asking us to change ourselves in how we relate to her. Are we able to change and respond in time as a collective community?
In the western world, many women were told by Dr Spock in the 60’s to not pick up their child when s/he was crying. This created a society of adults who learned to shut down their feelings and not respond with love to their own personal needs. We have evolved collectively as a culture with schizoid tendencies to ignore the body’s needs and feelings and to be highly narcissistic. Many of us have learned to not respond in true empathy to another’s needs. Large corporations, in fact, essentially operate with this model and it appears that many country governments do as well!
Often people divorce because they have no real ability to communicate their true needs with safety and respond to those needs with each other. They fall out of lust-love with no ability to understand how to grow into a deeper love. Authentic, long lasting love creates a bonding that can mimics the ‘ideal’ unconditional loving that is so deeply desired, but that many men and women never received adequately as children.
How can you change all these dysfunctional, relationship breakdowns that also often shut down many people to remain stuck or single for long periods of time?
If you know that you have some form of negative relationship or attachment issues, the first step is to acknowledge to yourself that you may have some issue in your original bonding with your mother; Did you have a toxic mother who is always highly critical of you? Are you a perfectionist with a harsh inner critic that sounds like your mother’s voice? Did you feel abandoned, neglected or rejected by your mother?
The next step is to learn how to re-organize your negative mother inside of you, as it will mysteriously appear outside of you in your intimate or perhaps your work relationships. What we know or unconsciously remember from our past, becomes a vibrational beacon that attracts experiences towards us, throughout our lives. The only way to change that is, with new awareness, to change yourself!
You can learn how to heal your inner negative mother though reading materials, workshops, self-help courses. However, the best is really to spend the time in a committed form of therapy to experientially re-learn how to bond more deeply. With feedback from a therapist, you can find out how you may be unconsciously blocking or sabotaging yourself, with your inner dark mother shadow, running the show inside of you – without your awareness. Working on intimacy or attachment issues with a wise, positive mother guide will allow you to reform your inner self into a forgiving, loving person with healthy boundaries, greater confidence and appropriate pride of yourself. You will also learn how to become more embracing of both your good and bad aspects of yourself.
A wise mother will often let her children make mistakes themselves so that they can grow into their own independence and life experiences, making healthy choices over time that keep them safe and loved. With support, you can learn how to make better choices with love and forgiveness, acknowledging and recognizing your own positive inner mother that is growing within you, teaching you what you may have missed.
Click HERE for Part 1 on Mothers
Click HERE for Part 2 on Mothers
The Next Post will continue with Part 4 of 4 – talking about Positive Mother Archetypes and how the Earth Mother is also calling us to heal our negative mother that is within. By choosing to do the inner work to transform ourselves, we also unexpectedly heal the Earth too!
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