Are you more connected to the negativity of your mother, then your undying love for her? Do you resent her or feel guilty all the time about her? Do you try to not to be hurt by her critical comments about you – or do you just plain try to avoid her? Maybe you’ve moved to another city or country, to unconsciously place a geographic distance away from her?
These are some of the components of the Negative Mother that you may wonder, how can you change this – because you can’t change your mother! The Negative or Dark Mother can evolve, with awareness and a bit of work into a more satisfying and deeply fulfilling relationship, You can learn how to transmute your needs to the Divine Mother and the Earth Mother. These two archetypes, spiritual or more earthly entities, have a great bountiful abundance of love and gifts to offer that can heal you and re-organize how you experience yourself and create your chosen reality. If you are open to changing yourself, the possibilities of deeper connections with the positive, healing forms of Mothers are endless.
Your mother is your first primary connection to life with your body and unique personality or consciousness. In the womb, you are in a symbiotic relationship where your soul transitions from the oneness with ‘Source’ to the oneness with the Mother. For the first year and a half of life, when you are in a healthy connection with your Mother, you experience a kind of bliss of oneness – when you cry, you are immediately responded to. Your needs for food, sleep and play are met with grace and ease. You can experience a great joy in living, because your mother loved you deeply, was always present to you and was consistently available to interpret your body cues to meet your needs. No Mother is perfect, but a ‘good enough’ Mother, can satisfy those needs enough to make a difference and create a firm bonding that translates into a solid sense of self that holds enough consistent connection. Or maybe an Aunt, Grandmother, foster Mother, adopted Mother, caregiver, babysitter, or older sister – and sometimes even a Father, filled in and formed the positive consistent bonding that the biological Mother couldn’t fully meet,that helped you to be able to ‘trust’ life enough.
However, for many people, this primary relationship with the Mother, can be interrupted, toxic, abusive, critical, neglectful, incoherent, inconsistent, abandoned rejected or just plain confusing!
When your primary attachment is not clear or is interfered with in some form, it affects your sense of self in very serious ways. This then becomes the shadow of the Dark Mother in you. Often, you don’t know or understand this – as it was how you grew up. Not until you begin to notice that something is wrong or amiss in your friendships, or intimate relationships, do you begin to get a sense that you are not quite the same as ‘everybody else’. When early bonding attachment has an unmet quality, or the deep, consistently loving connection was not adequately embodied into your consciousness, it becomes very difficult to hold and maintain a sense of consistent loving connection with yourself, let alone others……
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