Understanding the relationships between the body and mind in current neuroscience theories teaches us that healing through the right brain and body awareness accesses healing on a deeper and more permanent core level (Resneck-Sannes, 2002). Bioenergetics has always known how to work with the energies of the emotions in the body. It has evolved into a highly developed sophistication of the integration of the body and mind since Wilhelm Reich originated this approach in the 1920’s and when Alexander Lower founded Bioenergetics in 1950’s. Over the last 20 to 30 years, Bioenergetics has evolved with a more relational approach, beyond Freud’s original theories, integrating Object Relations, Self Psychology models, Relational Attachment theories, the Polyvagal Trauma theory and more. Modern Bioenergetics has synthesized into a deeper and more holistic approach that includes gentle and sensitive energetic protocols in working with shock trauma (accident, war, hospitalization) or relational/developmental trauma (childhood abuse, neglect, disruptions, etc.).
If you could consider a committed, intimate relationship as a Spiritual Path, you may find a new possibility for healing and joy that can bring a greater truth, vitality, and aliveness to your relationship. For many people, an intimate relationship is about getting their needs met, feeling safe and loved by another. This can often be a complicated arrangement that creates issues of misattunement with each other, such as feeling ignored, misunderstood, forgotten, criticized, shamed, betrayed, hurt, etc. Instead, consider viewing an intimate relationship as being a form of a spiritual quest or path for learning how to connect more deeply within yourself.
Falling in Love
In the first bloom of a romantic connection, you fall in love and it feels ecstatic! This falling sensation is one of letting go of control (with little fear), of surrendering to a sense of yourself that is beyond you. It is akin to the ecstatic feeling of spiritual enlightenment. As Marianne Williamson puts it;
“From a spiritual perspective, the original high of a romantic connection is thrilling …. For in a quick moment, a gift from the gods, we are likely to suspend our judgment of the other, not because we are temporarily insane, but because we are temporarily sane. We are having what you might call a mini-enlightenment experience. Enlightenment is not unreal; enlightenment—or pure love—is all that isreal. Enlightenment is when we see not as through a glass darkly, but truly face-to-face.” – Marianne Williamson
Awakening to mankind’s responsibility to heal the inner wound of our collective wounded masculine, also heals the wounded relationship with the feminine. As we all learn how to relate differently in a way that is more inclusive, this paradoxically allows more individuality to co-exist. With a commitment to our personal growth, together we are co-creating the new emerging masculine.
Like the need for bio-diversity to strengthen the resilience of inter-dependent micro systems on the planet, our collective need to learn how to operate in a way that includes an ability to respond and support all of our needs – men, women, children, elders, plants, animals, water and more! We can ultimately also shift our profound and primary relationship with the Earth.
Jungian Analyst and Author, Robert Bly, has stated in his work long ago that the archetypal image of the powerful, old masculine, King is dead – in our collective psyche! An archetype is a way of describing our universal need of a particular aspect of within our psychological development of how we think, feel and behave. The King archetype is one of power, strength and how to fight for our integrity and needs.
Sadly, for many of us, the positive King archetype was killed off in our early childhood from abandonment or abuse, dysfunctional or distorted men and narcissistic to psychopathic fathers. Our idea of what a strong powerful father should be, is actually one that is deeply wounded, weak or insecure, compensating in some form for a deep disconnection from within our psyches. The old masculine lacks a healthy integration with the feminine, an intuitive nature, an inclusive and supportive relationship with others and a way of being that is in harmonious balance with how we live together on this Earth.
In celebration of Father’s Day this month as well as the sun energy of Summer Solstice yesterday, I have been thinking about the men in my life. It is a time to honour the healthy masculine in all of us. I have begun to notice a shift in the world and have caught glimpses of a new masculine emerging and growing amongst us.
For years, I have seen many distorted forms of the masculine. One form is through dysfunctional corporation structures that continue to operate in an increasing chaos that doesn’t make a lot of sense any more. Organizations like FIFA world soccer is falling apart due to the financial greed of its leaders, or the Canadian Armed Forces, who are struggling with its internal sexual discrimination, harassment or abuse issues.
I’ve heard many stories in the news or from my clients of corporate organizations, school boards and police forces full of corruption, mismanagement or abuse within its power structures. The financial power structures of many countries seem to be falling apart as well. Let alone, all the men who have emotionally or physically abused their children, who are mentally ill-at-ease, or who have abandoned or neglected their spouses or kids. It’s really a mess out there and much of it is based on a controlling, competitive, male dominated power or hierarchical structure that is supposed to support its individual members, but actually doesn’t seem to at all.
Not only is the masculine aspect in men only, it exists as well in the inner psyche of women too. Our left brain and right side of the body holds our masculine qualities. These qualities can appear in our psyche as distinct aspects such as:
Transforming the Negative Mother into the Divine and Earth Mothers heals not only our inner world, but also heals the planet at the same time! When you can learn and integrate the many positive Mother archetypes through a new bonding relationship with a therapist, you can begin to develop fresh neural network pathways of consistent, loving connections. As you learn how to grow a consistent loving connection within yourself, you develop a capacity to unconditionally love yourself – no matter what happens. This is what slowly heals and transforms the negative mother within. It also changes how you will relate to others and as we all heal and transform our primary relationship with our inner mothers, the earth’s balance will also change and heal.
Practicing meditative prayers to more spiritual, positive mother archetypes can also begin to replace the negative mother imprint within you.
Positive Mother Archetypes, are the loving nurturer, the caregiver, the wise grandmother, or the mother martyr. They are found also in the positive side of Isis from Egypt, the Madonna , Mother Mary of Christianity, Kwan Yin from China, Lakshmi from China, and of course, Mother Earth or Gaia, as some call her.
The Negative Mother archetype is represented in our culture often as the archetypes of the Hag, the Witch, the Evil Sorceress, the Seductress, the Black Madonna, the Prostitute and the Raging Bitch!
An archetype is defined as a form of consciousness that is understood as a more collective aspect of awareness. Often these darker feminine archetypal forms include an awareness of the intuitive side of the feminine as well – that was feared and often attacked in the past –for example, witches were burned for their deeper wisdom. Or Christian religions tried to blame Eve for the first Sin in seducing Adam, and sexuality was denigrated as a negative desire – and the Prostitute was born. Or Islamic religions hid women’s faces and bodies, because men could not be blamed for their sexual desire to want women, so women have to hide their sensual feminine nature. The Hag is seen as old, harshly critical and cranky, split off from the power of her deeper wisdom, no longer being valued.
Are you more connected to the negativity of your mother, then your undying love for her? Do you resent her or feel guilty all the time about her? Do you try to not to be hurt by her critical comments about you – or do you just plain try to avoid her? Maybe you’ve moved to another city or country, to unconsciously place a geographic distance away from her?
These are some of the components of the Negative Mother that you may wonder, how can you change this – because you can’t change your mother! The Negative or Dark Mother can evolve, with awareness and a bit of work into a more satisfying and deeply fulfilling relationship, You can learn how to transmute your needs to the Divine Mother and the Earth Mother. These two archetypes, spiritual or more earthly entities, have a great bountiful abundance of love and gifts to offer that can heal you and re-organize how you experience yourself and create your chosen reality. If you are open to changing yourself, the possibilities of deeper connections with the positive, healing forms of Mothers are endless.
The art of ‘Deep Resilience’ is knowing what you can do and what you need to do on a daily basis to hold your own stability and grounded balance. It allows you to flourish and thrive in today’s challenging environment. It enables you to gracefully spring back from anything! It truly is harder to feel calm and grounded these days. This is because the ground is actually losing its own magnetic charge! This is due to the toxicity of electromagnetic pollution through cell phone and internet tower frequency waves.
“For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. Continue reading →